Magical Chemical 4 Point 2
by Silver Sniper
Summary: After being forced down Yanagi's newest creation containing the Magical Chemical 4.2, the other Rikkai regulars find Kirihara in the form of a twoyearold toddler. This is not good, especially for 'Mommy' Yukimura and 'Daddy' Sanada and among other people.
1. Magical Chemical 4 Point 2

Prince of Tennis © Takeshi Konomi 

**Notes:** There will be no serious romances in this but probably some out-of-characterness. Updates are usually from one to two weeks or sometimes even a little over. Plotline weaves around the one already established in Magical Chemical 3.8, though you don't really have to read beyond its summary to understand this.

* * *

Chapter One: Magical Chemical 4.2

* * *

To say that, after the previous epic centering around the blue-eyed prodigy and the aftermath of him consuming the Magical Chemical 3.8, Yanagi would have learned his lesson and stopped toying with chemistry and trying to create what could be apocalypse upon the world as we know it. But as they always said, fools never learn, and while Yanagi may be considered far from a fool, he was clearly lacking a part in the common sense department. After all, a boy who stalks his teammates home and takes mental notes on their quirks and habits and never opens his eyes simply cannot be labeled as a sane man, can he? So with his brilliant-mind-that-lacked-common-sense, Yanagi had set forth on a journey of creating something that would revolutionize the world forever and change life as we know it. And what was yielded of this highly difficult experiment? Presenting The Magical Chemical 4.2!

* * *

Of course, bombarding his kitchen pots and pans with an array of… things helped little with determining effects of said new creation. So therefore, a subject as needed to test the effects… 

"Y-Yanagi-senpai…"

Eyes wide with horror and lips slightly trembling, Kirihara Akaya slowly backed away from his advancing senpai who was holding out a pitcher of what seemed to be radioactive green goo with an unsettling malicious glint in his eyes. (if you could even see his eyes that is) He had been innocently, or as innocent as Kirihara could be, (couldn't resist tripping a few first years and daring to smirk at a few third years) walking from the clubroom to the courts when he was suddenly hauled into a corner by none other than the person standing before him right now. Kirihara gulped. Truth to be told, he actually liked his life and had no intention of dieing just yet.

"It's all right, Akaya, it's perfectly safe," Yanagi insisted. Kirihara couldn't resist snorting. Yeah right, since when had Yanagi senpai's culinary skills proved themselves to be edible? Heck, not even Marui dared eat them, and that boy would eat anything and everything.

"Y-Yanagi-senpai… I'm sure it's eh, _safe_," Kirihara mentally laughed. Right, _safe_. "But… but… eh… I'm sure Yukimura-buchou would need it more than me."

Yanagi, of course, had considered Yukimura into the equation. However, in fear of permanently loosing the captain and the rage of Sanada he would face after, he didn't dare even try persuading the sweet-smiling captain into trying. Sure, he cared about Kirihara and certainly did not want him to potentially die, but the short investigation he did behind his newest concoction clearly depicted that someone like Kirihara would be most… _benefiting_ from the effects. So therefore, since this was what Yanagi wanted, Yanagi will get.

"Come now, Akaya," he coaxed as he poured it into a small paper cup. Kirihara paled as Yanagi cornered him. There was no place to run anymore.

_And I really liked my life…_Kirihara thought miserably as he forced down the cup of who knows what.

* * *

"Yanagi, where is Kirihara?" 

Yanagi had always had trouble lying. Even if it was just telling a small white lie, he always had to face his guilty conscience for days after. That, perhaps is a good thing, Yanagi being an honest should that is. If he should have lied then, who knows what would become of poor Kirihara?

"He's somewhere behind the clubroom last time I checked." Well, they never said anything about twisting the truth, right?

"Behind the clubroom?" Sanada asked with confusion. It was just then that a shrill huff of irritation and a taunting laugh interrupted the conversation. With a swift turn of the head, Sanada immediately registered the two voices belonged to none other than Niou and Yagyuu, making their way onto the court. It would have been a normal scene for Niou was always getting on Yagyuu's nerves on way or another, but what caught the boy's attention today was the bundle of blankets nestled in Yagyuu's arms in which Niou would occasionally poke at. It didn't take long for Sanada to realize that there was an infant inside those bundles.

"… blankets in your bag, Yagyuu!" Well, that solved the mystery as to where the blankets had come from.

"I was going to give them to charity this afternoon," Yagyuu replied irritably as the baby in his arms gave an adorable giggle before letting out a babble:

"Glasses!" As if right on cue, a pudgy hand emerged from the bundle and snatched the glasses straight off of Yagyuu's face, much to the surprise and disbelief of the gentleman. Niou let out a fresh peal of laughter as Yagyuu blinked and the baby giggled. Sanada had had enough.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded of the two. Niou only smirked as Yagyuu wrestled to get back his glasses with no avail. The baby seemed to be having a good time playing tug-a-war.

"I don't know," Niou answered in a singsong voice. "Yagyuu and I just found him crawling around outside."

The mysterious little baby giggled again before literally spitting on Sanada's face when he happily exclaimed, "Daddy!" Sanada froze. Oh hell this was _not_ happening to him.

There was a pregnant silence between the group for a couple of seconds, all not daring to input their two cents in fear of watching Sanada decapitate them with a tennis racket and ball. Sanada himself could only gawk as the tiny infant laughed once more and began slobbering over Yagyuu's glasses. Yagyuu made no signs to retrieve them in fear of disturbing the tense silence and that had dawned on them and the gooey saliva that had probably permanently damaged his lenses forever… Good thing he had three other pairs.

"What is going on here? Why is no one practicing?"

Fortunately, the silence needn't have been broken from within the group, for at the precise moment at the peek of the soundless torture, Yukimura had emerged on he seen, arms crossed and lips in a questioning and slightly annoyed frown. Everyone jolted as they turned to greet their captain, and Yagyuu took this chance to rid himself of the spawning evil one and for all by dumping the baby into Sanada's arms.

The baby began to cry immediately.

"Sanada, what do you have there?" Yukimura asked. It was a rhetorical question actually, for he boy knew well enough what lay under the bundles after haven seen nurses rush past his door with them in his time in the hospital. Still, it was rather surprising and a little unnerving to see his vice-captain with such a being in his hands. Not only did it look unnatural for the stoic Sanada to be handling a baby, but also a little ridiculous as well.

"I… It's… Well…" Sanada was at an unusual loss of words. His brain was simply just not functioning, but luckily, the squirming and sobbing child in his arms filled in his vocal gap.

"Daddy bad!" it wailed, clearly not comfortable by how Sanada was squeezing the poor thing to death while the boy tried to cope with the tossing baby, attempting to keep it from crashing down into the ground.

"Sanada, please do not tell me that is _your_ child," Yukimura said in a rushed but serious voice.

"Absolutely not!" Sanada replied immediately as the baby let out a high-pitched shriek.

"Me want Mommy!" he pouted as his pudgy hands reached towards Yukimura. Everyone went into silent mode once again, but this time, unlike the previous, minds whirled as they tried to interpret the situation. Of course, by now, the distinguishing features like the soft curly black hair and the unusually nasty way he talked as if almost with a sneer gave some clues to as whom they could identify the child as. Then, as if to fully clear all the misunderstandings, well, to put it simply, the baby's eyes turned red and so… yeah…

"Yikes, it's Kirihara," Niou answered, not as phased as everyone else was. Sanada seemed to have gone blank while Yukimura was absolutely _livid_. There was only one answer to this:

"_Yanagi_!"


	2. Trouble

* * *

Chapter Two: Trouble

* * *

"So what do we do about this?"

They had decided to settle the matter in the clubhouse after practice. Being the national champion team they were, canceling practice rain, sleet or hail (if it ever did sleet or hail) or even in such a dilemma like this was not an option. However, since they were Rikkai and all, practice proceeded without much physical trouble, only the trouble that had stuck their minds existed.

"I think he's hungry." Having been recently informed of the latest news, Marui had taken up an immediately fascination with the toddler, poking at his chubby little cheeks and prompting him with tennis balls just out of his reach and even tried to smuggle gum into his mouth before Jackal slapped it away, informing his teammate that Kirihara wasn't a toy to be playing around with.

"So what do we do about this?" Yagyuu repeated calmly ignoring Marui's comment. Kirihara giggle happily in the center of their little circle.

"Yanagi will explain what he did," Yukimura stated clearly without hesitation, "and then he will change Akaya back to normal."

At this, everyone turned to the said person addressed, who had kept quiet for a while since. Yanagi, unlike the rest of them, wasn't part of the circle formed and was reflecting by himself in solitude over in the corner. He was, however, brought back to reality when Yukimura's voice cut through his thoughts. He took a deep breath and began to 'attempt' to explain.

"Well, after the dramatic success" –everyone stared at Yanagi with skeptical eyes— "of the Magical Chemical 3.8, I decided to _experiment_ some more." He paused with an unusual un-Yanagi-like smirk. Sanada motioned for him to go on with a nod, wishing to see that hint of evil off as soon as possible. "And… well, Kirihara just happened to be the specimen I was experimenting on and-"

"Yanagi, you of all people should know better than this," Sanada scolded sternly.

"Ball," Kirihara exclaimed as he picked up a stray tennis ball and chucked it at Jackal, who caught it before it had the chance to smack him on the head.

"Yes, well-"

"You are _never_ like this, and I won't accept this kind of behavior and your… _testing_ of chemicals on team members," Yukimura reinforced, seemingly oddly flustered.

"I know, but-" Yanagi was completely defeated.

"So you are going to fix this and you better fix this _fast_." The captain and the vice-captain chorused. Yanagi could only stay silent. Everyone else could only stay silent… well, almost everyone else that is.

"Me want to play!" Kirihara screeched in such a voice that it just wanted to make some people wince. They didn't need anyone to spell out that when Kirihara was thirteen that he was a demon, and they certainly didn't need any telling that now he's two he must be the ruler of Hell himself.

"What do you want to play, Akaya," Jackal asked in a soft and patient voice. Kirihara turned his wide emerald towards his responsible teammate and broke out in a wide grin. Jackal shivered. His senses told him that something bad was going to happen, and considering his previous position as 'babysitter' for the prestigious youth, his predictions weren't that far off.

* * *

"Kid, you're not strong or tall enough to pick that up," Niou told him bluntly with a hint of amusement in his eye. He and Marui were asked to keep and eye on Kirihara while the rest of them discussed and tried to settle the issue at hand. Of course, both of them knew well enough the only reason that they had to babysit was because the rest of the team didn't need their two cents and interruptions… and because they didn't want to be the next victim of Kirihara's wicked little mind. Enough chucking balls, spit covered glasses, pulling of hair, and screeching for them that day, thank you.

"No!" Kirihara insisted as he tried to lift the racket, which was just barely shorter than him, off the ground. Marui tried to stifle his laughter as he watched Kirihara attempt and then get caught off balance and tumble to the ground, landing on his bottom while his eyes began to grow abnormally huge and watery.

"Aw, don't cry!" Marui said exasperatedly as he hurried to his side and tried to calm him. It was then he realized that he didn't exactly know what to do to calm Kirihara, so instead he ended up rushing to his side and coming to a complete stop, paralyzed like stone, dumbfounded.

"Marui! You have two younger brothers! Can't you do anything?" Niou asked tauntingly. Marui frowned.

"We're two and four years apart! (though this isn't officially confirmed) You think I know how to change diapers?" Marui whined as he chewed viciously at his gum. That always helped.

"He isn't wearing diaper," Niou managed to say through the din of Kirihara's pitiful sobbing. "He's wearing a toga. Well, technically it's a blanket actually."

"Then get him some clothes!" Marui cried as he tried to pick Kirihara up in order to comfort him. However, being inexperienced with children, he managed to clamp his arm around Kirihara's chest leaving the rest of his body dangling. Kirihara only started sobbing harder.

"Can't we play something else?" Niou suggested. "Like badminton or something?"

Kirihara's crying subsided as he looked at Niou with those eyes of his. "Bad." He said. "Me want to play bad."

Marui and Niou stared at him dubiously. In a flash, the whirlwind of tears and cries had become a pair of joyful eyes and a wide smile, and in their minds, that just wasn't right. And if it wasn't right, then that meant that something had to be wrong.

"Okay, Akaya," Marui said cheerfully. That's how Jackal does it. "You want to play badminton?"

"No," Kirihara answered immediately, shaking his head. "Me want to play bad."

"I think he's saying he wants to be bad, as in 'cause trouble'," Niou noted. Marui's face sagged. Niou was definitely not going to be a good influence.

"Well, shall we cause havoc, Akaya?" Niou said with false innocence as he plucked the child out of Marui's hands and tucked Kirihara under one arm like a tennis racket and proceeded to walk towards the entrance of the school. It took a second for Marui to register everything, but once he did, he started sprinting after Niou and Kirihara immediately.

"Wait! Where are you going? They're going to kill us if they found out we left!" Marui said, panicked. Niou just shrugged.

"The law prohibits murder without set consequences," he said. Then he added smugly, "And we're going to have fun, right, Akaya?"

"Go Grandma!" Kirihara cheered. Niou nearly tripped over a stray empty bottle. When he recovered he could only sigh as he gave Kirihara an annoyed look.

"Well, you can't blame him," Marui said in defense of the two-year-old. "You have white hair. It's not like he's old enough to register people beyond their physical appearance."

"Hey," Niou called as he continued walking on, "since when did you become smart?"

"Shut up. I was always, am and will be a genius."

* * *

"Are you sure this was a good idea?"

After grabbing and dressing Kirihara in suitable clothes they found off a rack on the street (street vendors anyone?), the three, led by Niou had proceeded onto the arcade where he and Kirihara were happily trying to conquer a game that was all too bloody, gory, and vulgar in Marui's opinion. Marui himself was horrified. None of them knew what the chemicals could do, and if this was permanently embedded into Kirihara's mind… well, let's just say that he'd seen enough violence on the courts involving the boy already, and certainly didn't want to see more. He was never partial to blood.

"Now, should we use the poison gas and let the person die a slow painful death and cause little devastation to its surroundings or should we use landmines and give them a quick and presumably painless death while destroying everything within fifteen meters of the area?" Niou read it meticulously off of the screen. Script writers these days were just getting more and more creative.

"Niou!"

"Me want bomb!"

"Akaya…"

"Nuclear bomb. Ingenious, Akaya," Niou commented as he scrolled down.

Marui sighed as he chomped at his bubblegum. Niou really was a bad influence.

* * *

"I knew I should've went with them."

The group, which had been discussing the issue inside, (And came to the conclusion that Yanagi wasn't to blame due to the fact that he had been drugged- _fed_ a strange juice himself created by one of Seigaku's members and was still deluged when he produced the poison- _creation_ of his own. He got off with a hundred laps and a slap on the face.) consisting of Yukimura, Sanada, Yanagi, Yagyuu, and Jackal, were thoroughly infuriated but not all too surprised when they came out to find Marui, Niou, and Kirihara nowhere in sight.

"Yes, we probably shouldn't have left the three of them alone, Jackal," Yagyuu said in agreement. "I think Niou has already dragged them to some place not fit for Akaya's current age."

"I suspect that they've either snuck into an 'R' rated movie or are playing some violent games down in the arcade," Yanagi mused. At least that portion of his mind wasn't distorted.

"Yagyuu and I will check the theaters. You three go check the arcade," Yukimura said decisively. The others bore no complaints, merely nodding before they went their separate ways, going in a hasted sprint in search for their three (or was it technically two and a half?) missing team members.

* * *

"I guess they're not here."

The statement was blunt, and in some ways, an underestimate. The scene was despicable, and we're not talking about the rather explicated snippet being played on screen. Half the people in the torn up theatre weren't even watching the movie. Instead, and unhealthy amount on food was being chucked and… well, it wasn't a pretty scene. Not even the three people missing would want to come to a place like here.

"Let's go," Yukimura sighed. All that trouble of sneaking in for nothing. How did they do it? Well, actually, they didn't really need to sneak in. Apparently the guy up at front got a sudden call that his girlfriend was pregnant and dashed out before either of the two could even open their mouths. Lucky them.

* * *

Sanada was not pleased. Jackal was not pleased. Yanagi was… still mentally recovering from the effects of Inui juice that is still making him skippy. 'Oops' wasn't a word for Niou to be using in this situation.

"Daddy!" Kirihara screamed in delight, eyes shining in an evilly innocent way. Sanada winced. Had Kirihara not been a two-year-old currently, he would've earned himself one hell of a slap. Yet nonetheless, he took the child into his hands, reluctantly. Very, _very_ reluctantly.

"Niou-kun," Yagyuu said as-a-matter-o-factly. No question needed to be ask as a mutual understanding past between them. Yagyuu wanted and explanation. Niou knew Yagyuu wanted and explanation. Yagyuu knew that Niou knew that he wanted and explanation, and Niou knew that Yagyuu knew that he knew that he wasn't going to give one.

"Sorry," he said feebly, not even bothering to make some grand excuse. Yagyuu just shook his head.

Meanwhile, sorry wasn't really cutting it for Marui as he earned a lecture from his doubles partner. He pretended to be actively engaged in the conversation, but it was kind of hard when he was the subject being bashed. Kirihara then inserted his two cents by dangerously leaning out of Sanada's arms and tugging at Marui's hair.

"Auntie, me go potty."

Marui grimaced. Oh yeah… don't you just _hate_ it when people were incapable of registering you beyond your physical appearance, or judged you by your looks? And even so, since when did he start looking like an aunt?

"Marui, take him to the bathroom," Sanada muttered as he dumped Kirihara into Marui's hands. The boy wanted to protest, but you were just kind of paralyzed under the infamous Sanada Glare.

"You know, now that I look at it, Marui does seem aunt-like," Niou mused as he looked at the diminishing figure that was Marui holding Kirihara. Yagyuu gave him 'the Stare'. "Well, a lot of aunts give their nieces or nephews a lot of sweet stuff, right? So…"

"Niou-kun, it's not logical," Yagyuu said simply.

"But we are like a big, wonderful, loving…"

Everyone them gave him looks that clearly told him not to say anything beyond that. Niou took it as an invitation to finish with drama.

"_Family_."

Now that would be a scary thought, wouldn't it?

* * *

Happy Friday the Thirteenth upon a full moon. 


	3. Mishaps

Excuse me for the VERY late update and the very short and crappy chapter. I know you've heard the excuses a million times, so I'll spare you and let your imagination take over and come out with the regular stuff. From now on, updates will range from my free time allotment and major holidays. Otherwise, happy Valentine's Day. (AAAAH! THE REDNESS! IT KILLS!)

* * *

Chapter Three: Mishaps

* * *

The group had settled down for some ice cream at an outdoor parlor, courtesy of Marui who always got discounts from the generous owner, and were watching Marui shove down a mega sized sundae at top speed. The rest were sipping water.

"Ice cream," Kirihara pronounced carefully as he poked a chubby little finger into the side of Marui's sundae. He giggled as he withdrew his finger, now covered with ice cream and pushed it into his mouth. Marui seemed disturbed. After all, it was _his_ ice cream.

"That's right, Akaya, it's ice cream," Yagyuu said kindly as he took a napkin to wipe Kirihara's finger. "And Marui will share, won't he?"

"Hey!" Marui whined as he drew his bowl near him, "it's mine!"

Kirihara began cry. Immediately, the other members all swayed towards the child as they frantically tried to calm him. Needless to say, the poor child (believe it or not) began to cower at the jumble words coming from everyone's mouths at the same time and broke into greater tears. By now, people were staring at the commotion, puzzled to see seven teenage boys tending over a small kid.

"Marui, share!" they all hissed. Marui reluctantly obliged, scooping a last spoonful into his mouth before he pushed it towards Kirihara, who was now sitting on Jackal's lap.

"Squishy!" Kirihara exclaimed as he shoved his hand into it and caterpulted it onto his face. He let out a joyous laugh. Jackal inhaled sharply and squeezed his eyes together in vexation.

"No, Kirihara," he said, controlling his stress with equanimity. "It isn't-"

But before the boy could utter another word, Kirihara had taken the joy of dragging the bowl over the edge of the table, resulting in spilled ice cream all over the ground and on his and Jackal's pants. The calmer of the group sighed while the more lively broke into small snickers.

"Uh-oh!" Kirihara laughed.

"Here," Yukimura said as he handed Jackal a stack of tissues. Jackal took them with great appreciation and began clearing up the mess as best as he could.

"So… who's going to take him home?"

The momentary issue with the spilled ice cream had now been replaced by the original issue of whom to look after the devilish toddler. Surprisingly, it was Niou who brought up the subject. He really shouldn't have had though, really. Everyone's attention (save little Kirihara's) was now on him, staring with blank eyes. Didn't he know that-

"Since you brought it up, you can be the one to do it," Sanada said with resolute.

"No!" Yagyuu answered on impulse, forgetting that he really shouldn't be opposing his captain. Then again, better nip the problem in the bud than have it blossom into a hell flower. Knowing Niou the best out of the lot, Yagyuu could just picture the boy showing Kirihara an array of things no child his age should have been shown, like… well, _stuff_.

"Would you rather do it then?" Yukimura asked.

"Well…"

"Actually, I'd like to look after him. Well, for today that is." The regulars were quite shock to the sudden statement, and their heads snapped in horrification towards Yanagi. Doubts filled all their minds.

"Yay!" Kirihara squealed.

"You want to come with me, Akaya?" Yanagi said gently. Kirihara vigorously nodded with the sweetest smile you could ever imagine.

"Me come!"

"Well, it's settled then."

* * *

"Hey, Sanada?"

"Yes?"

"Was it really a good idea to let Yanagi look after him? I mean…"

"I don't know, Yukimura, I don't know."

"What are you all solemn about? Just think about it— Kirihara's a toddler and Yanagi's under the influence (of Inui Juice). Put them together and we'll probably get some kind of alien for a teammate."

"Niou!"

"Actually, I did always want to play a doubles match with a chocolate bar…"

"Marui!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Yanagi had finished giving Kirihara a bath (and surprisingly not get wet in the process) and dressing him in clothes his older sister had made for fun some time ago. Diapers weren't much of a problem as he had grabbed a packet from the local convenience store on the way to his house. Explaining to his parents wasn't going to be much of a problem either as they were out of town today visiting an old friend, and his older sister would come to understand eventually. The real problem was how to turn the child back to normal.

Eventually, after boring the child to sleep with three rounds of shougi, (which Kirihara found was a lot easier to play when he took the pieces off of the board and threw it at Yanagi) Yanagi decided that the issue could be tackled after he recovered from the effects of Inui Juice. It was only his strict control over his emotions that prevented him from bursting out in hysterical giggles and wanting to skip around the block tossing out flowers to everybody around the corner. Scary picture, isn't it?

Sighing, Yanagi turned towards the clock softly ticking on the wall. Its hands told him it was six seconds to seven. He cringed. His sister would be arriving promptly on the twelve. Time for the tough explaining.

"Hello, Renji. How was your day."

"Fine, thank you. Yours?"

"Fine."

Well, the greetings went smoothly enough. However, Yanagi knew the calm wouldn't last long. His sister headed towards her room like she always did everyday. Here comes the moment of truth…

"Renji!"

"In the living room."

"Renji!"

"In the living room!"

"RENJI!"

"I said in the-"

Yanagi was cut short as his sister stormed out of her room in a cloud of rage and confusion, a twitching and frightened cat with odd bald patches tucked under one arm, and a devilish Kirihara with a pair of shears in his chubby little hands under the other. (Miracle how the cat lived, isn't it?) If Yanagi was startled, he made no indication of it. Instead, he pathetically tried to prevent himself from laughing like a lunatic on crack. Damn Inui Juice…

"RENJI!"

* * *

"Renji?"

With an unhappy and pouting Kirihara in hand, hair slightly aloof, and the corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly, Yanagi looked like a psycho character right out of a comic book (or manga). Had we been able to see Inui's eyes, we would've surely seen them blink.

"Ah, Sadaharu," Yanagi answered with a wry smile, though it was clearly visible that the twitching was still there. "It seems that there was a… there were mishaps at home."

Inui nodded slowly, staring acutely at Kirihara, who glared back with his green eyes. It didn't take long for Inui to assess the situation.

"There is a ninety-seven percent chance that you shall be wanting to stay over tonight," Inui said level-headedly.

"And there is a ninety-nine percent chance that you will let me," Yanagi returned.

"But there is also that one percent that I won't."

"There was a sixty-three percent chance you were going to say that."

"There was a hundred percent chance that you were going to say _that_."

"Well, there's…"

It was around this part that Kirihara had gotten bored at their mindless chatter that only the two would find amusing and drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

XXXdays until Kirihara turns back to normal 


	4. Fun at the Park

Happy Easter. Forgive for this way overdue update. I won't bore you with reasons and excuses, (because we all know how mediocre and corny they sound XD) so let your imagination run wild.

* * *

Chapter Four: Fun at the Park

* * *

How Inui managed to pack a futon into the calamity known as his room is an unsolved mystery. How he managed to pack two and a half may just be the question to rival the chicken and the egg.

"No, feed Kirihara this one next."

"Really, Sadaharu, I do believe mine would make more sense."

"Renji, have you forgotten who created the first specimen of this chain of experiments?"

"Sadaharu, have you forgotten who created the concoction for these chain of experiments?"

Meanwhile, Kirihara, after being forced down a bottle of greenish goo, was feeling quite nauseas. His tiny tummy just wasn't meant for the harsh substances that the two other boys were so deliriously fond of feeding him, and was just moaning for some real food. Luckily, the child was intelligent enough to have figured out where the door was and escape the infamous Inui Laboratory. However, it was just then that there came a knock-knock at the door…

"My parents are home. Get Kirihara and run," Inui said. Of course, they had already predicted this coming, but it's really easy to loose yourselves in a hobby you so dearly love, and time waits for no one.

"Tell me if anything turns up," Yanagi said with a nod.

"I-"

"WAAAAH!"

"Of course, we can't overlook that point one percent that it wasn't my parents."

"Indeed, Sadaharu, indeed."

* * *

The first thought that came into Fuji's head was confusion. The second was shock, and the third, undoubtedly was a blank oblivion. A miniature Kirihara wasn't exactly in his agenda that day. Actually, it wasn't really part of his agenda any day, but that fact aside now…

"You _evil_!" hissed the child as he tried to loosen himself from his enemy's death grip. Fuji, however, did not relent.

"Saa… So you've been intoxicated too, huh?" he mused as he gently plopped the child down on a chair. Kirihara immediately jumped off like as if the seat were on fire. Fuji frowned disdainfully. So troublesome…

"_Evil_!" Kirihara hissed again as he stumbled across the room, occasionally shooting uncertain and tentative looks at the brunette to make sure he wasn't tailing him. Unfortunately for him, Fuji was coyly making his way around the room (minus the stumbles like Kirihara) and was gaining on him fast. Frantic, the child dove into the first door that was open, A.K.A., Inui's Laboratory.

"Ah, there you are," Yanagi said happily as he scooped up the child. "Here, drink this. It should help."

Kirihara vigorously shook his head as he wiggled his way out and landed with a light thump on the ground. Hastily, he proceeded to scramble out the exit… but of course, we all know who was waiting there.

"Ah, Fuji," Inui greeted with a nod.

"Yanagi?" Fuji questioned, eyeing the boy queerly, completely ignoring his teammate.

"Akaya!" Yanagi scolded, oblivious to Fuji.

"NO!" Kirihara wailed. You can just imagine what a torturous peril the poor child was going through.

* * *

And so it was decided by the very 'responsible and sensible' mad scientists/babysitters that Kirihara shall spend the day frolicking and laughing in the sun, rolling on the green grass, and eating a very delicious picnic lunch made by Inui yours truly under the strict but caring supervision of Fuji Syusuke. Doesn't that sound like such a _delightful_ way to waste away a perfect day? Well, at least it was in Fuji's eyes.

"No!" Kirihara cried. "No! No! No! No!"

"Temperamental, aren't we?" Fuji cringed as he plopped the child onto the nearest bench. "Now, what do we have to say for yourself, Akaya-kun?"

Kirihara replied with a high-pitched screech, causing many heads to turn. Fuji could really care less. He wasn't interested in making as many heads turn, but more so having as much 'fun' as he possibly could with the child before his day of tor- I mean fun was over.

Fuji smiled deviously as he extended his lithe fingers to softly pinch the child's nose. Kirihara crew harder as he clawed at him, but Fuji did not relent, and pretty soon Kirihara had to stop to take a couple of deep breaths.

"Now there's a good Aka-chan," Fuji laughed. "Now, let's have lunch, shall we?"

Lunch, as it appeared, was a quick thing whipped up by Inui with help from Yanagi… yeah, you know how that fact appeared to Kirihara.

"No!" the child screamed feverishly as he tried to dodge a green rice ball that certainly didn't look like it was actually made from rice at all. "No! No! No! No! No! No! NOOO!"

"Shall I pinch your nose again?" Fuji threatened. Kirihara immediately quieted down to unrelenting sniffles. "Good, now eat your rice ball."

The so-called 'rice ball' felt like a lump of green goo in Kirihara's hand. The child blinked continuously at it before turning to Fuji and shuddered when he saw that the brunette was devouring them by the dozens.

"Inui's such a wonderful cook," Fuji remarked. "I should get him to give me the recipe so I can make these for Yuuta." He swallowed before cocking his head to Kirihara. "Hurry up now. I still want to play tennis."

And with a quick movement, the… the _thing_ was violently shoved into Kirihara's tiny mouth without much concern from Fuji… which led to Kirihara throwing up… which caused people to squirm away… which wasn't really a good thing.

"Hey, Yuuta, isn't that your brother?"

* * *

"Don't remind me."

Mizuki turned suddenly to Yuuta with a smirk and a confident scoff, which thoroughly scared the spectator as he felt an unpleasant tingle flow down his spine. One smirking Mizuki to go always managed to turn the day around, and Yuuta suspected that this wasn't the good kind of 'turn the day around'.

"Yuuta, why didn't you tell me that Fuji Syusuke had a child?"

"We are not having this conversation again…"

* * *

Meanwhile, the Inui Laboratory had just moved house. The two (mad) scientists decided that the cluttered calamity of Inui's bedroom was not as suitable for their biggest and newest chemical as Yanagi's kitchen, so after some thinking and brain busting, they finally collected all their necessities and hitched the nearest bus there was. Needless to say that the passengers on board showered them with attention, most of it directed towards the rather flamboyant equipment they had boarded with. The bus driver was a little reluctant to let them on, but only after Inui handed him a love potion that was 'guaranteed' to work regardless of circumstances did he finally agree.

"Ah, Sadaharu, add this in too. It looks like it just started decaying."

"Wonderful, Renji. While you're add it, can you make more powder?"

"From that skull of a rat?"

"No, the bird that got ran over."

"Oh, this would be a marvelous addition as well, Sadaharu!"

"Renji! Where did you get that? Two headed frogs are pretty hard to come by!"

"Not as hard as this, Sadaharu."

"Renji, is that what I think it is?"

"Yes, Sadaharu, it's a strand of Atobe's hair."

"Should we add that in too?"

"No, the DNA might not be accepted by our vessel."

"But say it did?"

"No… I really don't want Akaya to start wearing pink."

"Indeed, Renji, indeed."

"What's that you have there, Sadaharu?"

"Oh, _this_, Renji?"

"My! Can it be?"

"Yes, Renji, it's the last remaining sample of the Magical Chemical 3.8!"

* * *

And while our lovable and hysterical (mad) scientist go rambling on in out-of-character ways, I'm sure some of you would be happy to know that Fuji had just dragged Kirihara to the ducky pond. 


	5. More Trouble

* * *

Chapter Five: More Trouble

* * *

Fuji was delighted. He hadn't visited his favorite ducky pond since Yuuta moved out, and he so dearly missed his feathery friends. Kirihara, on the other hand, was absolutely horrified by the quacking and honking made by the flapping beings that had swarmed around them.

And then Fuji shoved some breadcrumbs into his hands.

There was a flurry of feathers and Kirihara found himself being mobbed by even more ducks and the occasional goose as they fought for the food. In fright, the child dropped everything and made a wild dash for it, only to end up tripping over his untied shoelace and landing face first into the water, and that's when he finally reached his limit and burst into tears.

It was then that Fuji threw away all his ideals for a perfect day with the child and flared his eyes at the disaster. In a split second he was next to the child picking him up out of the murky water and to his dismay…

"Kirihara…"

Beneath the layer of mud that caked his face and curls, Kirihara had on him one plump smirk and a mad giggle as he pointed to the mud that he had thrown onto the brunette's face. Fuji had heard of mud facials, but he had a feeling that this wasn't how it was suppose to be.

* * *

"According to Yanagi, they're supposed to be around here."

When Yagyuu came to pick up the child (Niou tagging along as well), he was dismayed, but not very surprised to see Yanagi fiddling with experiments instead of amusing Kirihara. After getting Yanagi's word that he was now probably at the ducky pond with a 'very reliable and responsible' babysitter, Yagyuu (and Niou) headed there in a flash.

What they got wasn't a very pleasant scene.

"Isn't that Fuji Syusuke?" Niou asked with a delightful grin. "I wonder if Akaya bit him yet."

"Don't say things like that, Niou-kun. Kirihara doesn't bite." Yagyuu retorted as he made his way towards the duo. However, as it turned out, Niou's insight was much better than his because as he neared there was indeed a nasty scene where Kirihara had latched himself onto Fuji's finger and a noticeable wince coming from the prodigy.

"Kirihara let _go_!" Fuji hissed as he tried to pry his finger from the child's mouth. How it brought back memories from the time Yuuta was teething, but this was Kirihara, and when Kirihara bit him, it wasn't cute like when Yuuta bit him.

The little devil didn't even need to be told to let go. Fuji's finger tasted like breadcrumbs and duck spit, and that alone was enough to make him gag.

"Akaya!"

Fuji gave a relieved sigh as the responsibility of the toddler was taken off of his hands, both figuratively and literally. He recognized the pair to be Kirihara's teammates, and secretly wished them good luck dealing with the red-eyed monster.

"Grandpa!" Kirihara exclaimed happily as he clutched Yagyuu's shirt with his muddy hands and gave him the most innocent and sweet look ever. All of it was false no doubt, and Yagyuu cringed at the sight of his just-ironed shirt getting caked with mud.

"You have a very nice grandson," Fuji remarked sarcastically.

"Thank you for taking wonderful care of him. We'll sure to call on you in the future," Yagyuu replied with his own dryness.

* * *

First thing was first, and that was getting Kirihara a bath, which proved to be more of a hassle than winning the nationals two years running. They had went back to Yagyuu's house and was trying to put the child in the sink, but Kirihara had other ideas as he flailed around, kicking and screaming and splashing water all over.

"Yagyuu! Do something!" Niou sputtered as he spat out a mouthful of soapsuds that had been flung his way.

"I'm trying!" Yagyuu hissed as his grip on the squirming Kirihara loosened. And then there was the dreaded 'SPLASH' as Yagyuu finally dropped the child in, and then followed the banshee-like screech.

"Akaya! Be quiet!" Kirihara only crew harder at Yagyuu's request. "_Please_!"

Upon his request, Kirihara did become quiet, only because then he was too preoccupied with belching up a storm, otherwise known as the Inui bento. Niou immediately drew back in disgust while Yagyuu could only restrain himself from knocking Kirihara silly, seeing that he had just gotten half-digested potential poison on his shirt. This just wasn't his day, was it?

And then Marui barged in.

"Where were you two? We have Sunday practices, too, in case you forgot!" Then he saw the slimly stuff clinging to Yagyuu. "Oh… nevermind."

* * *

It turns out (wouldn't you know it?) that Kirihara was very easily bribed with sweet things with pretty colors. While one shot of a strawberry float might keep a kid his size bouncing off of the walls for hours, it promptly knocked Kirihara out with a bang, reducing him to a happily wibbling child in the corner who seemed to do nothing else than smile, burp, and sigh like an adorable angel.

"I wish somebody told me that earlier, bribing him with sweets" Yagyuu muttered as he ran a towel through his wet hair for about the twenty-eighth time. He had taken a shower not long ago, and though he might be completely clean and retch-less, he still didn't like the feeling of wet hair.

"Yagyuu, stop," Niou told him as he confiscated the towel. Marui stood by his side, happily chewing gum and occasionally shooting glances at Kirihara to make sure he wasn't going to break China.

"You two should get back to Sanada before he starts on war rampage," Marui advised, "He was pretty upset when you two didn't show up."

"What about Yanagi?" Yagyuu inquired.

"Yanagi found a cure."

"Why didn't you tell me _that _earlier?"

* * *

The 'cure', as stated by Yanagi, was simple: replace Kirihara's current condition with another. Of course, all things that seem simple didn't really turn out to be so simple, and this was one of such a case. Yanagi proposed that they inject Kirihara with the remaining sample of the Magical Chemical 3.8, (which supposedly changes your gender) so that 'he' might become a 'she', and then they'd just wait the week out. Naturally, the rest of the team didn't take this very well.

"Yanagi, this is ridiculous," Yukimura said, "This is not one of your specimens! This person is my teammate and I refuse to let you inject him with anything that may potentially hurt him!"

"But then what do we do, Yukimura?" Sanada muttered as he pulled down his cap.

"…"

"Well, now that everything's decided, let's proceed," Yanagi said.

"Wait! If you fed him that, wouldn't he still be a kid, but only a girl now?" Jackal asked as the sudden horrible though struck his mind. Yanagi took him by the shoulders and stared at him straight in the eye.

"Then that is a chance we shallhave to take," he said solemnly.

* * *

If you celebrate it, happy Victoria Day! 


	6. Results

* * *

Chapter Six: Results

* * *

"Actually, I wish we really hadn't taken that chance."

It was Niou who said this while looking at Kirihara, who was currently knocked out. Beside him stood his teammates in a circle around the boy, waiting to see him regain consciousness. Yagyuu remained in a calm guise while Jackal and Marui were shifty and anxious. Sanada was indifferent, Yukimura looking concerned, and Yanagi was just simply waiting in the patient manner he always exuded.

It was after several tense moments of waiting that the group considered this experiment a failure. Not only did Kirihara remain knocked out, he was still chubby and short and definitely male. Most members breathed a sigh of relief while Yanagi breathed the sole sigh of pure disappointment.

And then Kirihara stirred.

Eyes immediately snapped towards the child as he groaned and moaned and wriggled about until finally his eyes shot open onto the group. There was another passage of silence as Kirihara stared at his teammates who was staring at him staring at them, and then he spoke:

"What's going on?"

"He's talking," Yagyuu said rather faintly.

"And you can actually understand it unlike that goo-goo language he spoke a while ago," Niou added.

"Hmm… It seems that the effects differ from person to person… or perhaps it was just the extra ingredients Sadaharu and I added," Yanagi interpreted. "It seems that Kirihara has regained his mental maturity, but his physical appearance is still stunted."

"_Extra_ ingredients?" Yukimura asked.

"Well, we did add a _few_ things," Yanagi confessed.

"Why didn't you bother telling us?" Sanada asked.

"You could've poisoned him!" Jackal exclaimed.

"Or worse!" Marui said.

With everyone chirping about this and that, Kirihara was genuinely confused at what was going on. For one, he didn't really remember the events from the last two days. For another, he was lying on the ground, and finally, why did these clothes feel so _uncomfortable_? Especially the pants. Kirihara didn't recall ever owning such an uncomfortable pair of pants.

"Hey, what's going on?" he demanded as he tried to get on his feet. He was quite surprised when he lost balanced and landed on his bottom. It was then he finally noticed his state, and his eyes sparked red with fury. "What did you _do_?"

The "you" was quite clearly directed at Yanagi, whom the boy was now glaring intensely at. Even to the ones whom he was not busy staring death too felt the chill behind it.

"Oh, I'm so glad to see you're okay," was all Yanagi could say.

* * *

While Yanagi again hit the lab, the labor of taking care of the child fell onto Yukimura. Sanada had reluctantly offered due to Yukimura's implied pressuring, but Kirihara insisted that he was not going to spend a night at the demon's alcove, so responsibility jumped onto the captain.

"Why are we shopping?" Kirihara grumbled. As soon as tennis practice was over, Yukimura had dragged the rather reluctant boy to the shopping district as the two were now pushing their way across the street through a busy crowd.

"My mother asked me to buy some white thread on the way home," Yukimura responded as he ushered the child into a sewing store. Kirihara didn't bother asking why his mother wanted white thread and not so patiently waited until his captain was done buying things. When they got outside, however, he wished Yukimura had taken longer.

"Rikkai's Yukimura, was it?"

Kirihara only glared at the Hyoutei prodigy flanked by his double's partner as they made their way towards them. Yukimura responded with a polite nod of acknowledgement.

"Why are you two here? It's rather far from Tokyo, isn't it?" Yukimura asked. Gakuto held up his bags in response.

"Shopping," he told the other. Then he spotted Kirihara. "Who's that?"

"This is my… cousin," he finally decided. Kirihara, who was rather slow to this situation, responded rashly:

"I'm not your cousin!"

Yukimura's glare told him all, and Kirihara silently swore that he hadn't let those words out of his mouth. However, what was said was said and it couldn't be taken back, and seeing how sharp Oshitari was, there was no was he missed that comment.

"Oh, you can talk," he mused as he stooped down to Kirihara's level. "Aren't you cute?"

Kirihara was infuriated and so desperately wanted to retort to that with a snide comment of his own, but by now he knew better and resorted to a level he'd rather not tread on, but had to. "Goo… gah… eh…"

Yukimura couldn't help but crack a tiny smile at Kirihara's futile efforts to cover up his mistake, but he knew that this wouldn't fool those two. Kirihara seemed to know as well as he hardly responded when Gakuto poked him in the cheek.

"And he can act too," Gakuto said.

"Are you going to play tennis too when you grow up," Oshitari cooed.

"I can already play _and_ I can beat you too!" Kirihara huffed, throwing away his already penetrated disguise.

"Is that a challenge?"

Kirihara cursed himself again for letting his rage get the better of him.

* * *

"So, one set match, okay?"

"Fine with me."

Kirihara stood with racket (is that what you call those things?) in hand as and deeply focused as he waited for Oshitari to serve. On the side, Yukimura could only shake his head with exasperation as Gakuto looked at the awkwardness of the whole situation.

"Ping-Pong? Yuushi, this is a kid, are you serious?" Gakuto asked as Oshitari served.

"Of course I am," he replied with a smirk.

It was then that Yukimura finally realized that Oshitari realized that the boy was really Kirihara. While he was grateful that they were playing Ping-Pond with tennis rules in play, he wasn't so grateful that they were playing at all. What if Kirihara fell off of the chair he was standing on? That wouldn't be a pleasant scene, not to mention the minutes were ticking to when he had to be home.

As the match drew on, though, Yukimura relaxed a bit because not only was Kirihara staying stable on the chair, his opponent was clobbering him, meaning he would probably get home before dinner. Kirihara, on the other hand, wasn't so happy with the results.

"Game, set, and match. I win." Oshitari gave him a smug smile that clearly told Kirihara that he was a L-O-S-E-R, and we all know Kirihara couldn't stand for that.

"Best of three," he snapped.

"You're on."

Yukimura and Gakuto groaned.

* * *

This is for all those who passed on this Memorial Day and to my friend who's brother recently passed away in Iraq. 


	7. Crushed

* * *

Chapter Seven: Crushed

* * *

Yukimura's room turned out to be rather simple. As expected of the captain, it was clean and well kept with books neatly placed in a bookshelf and desk free of clutter, but it wasn't so straightforward to the point of it being dreadfully dull. Kirihara spied several pictures that consisted of the team and a few that were ones taken probably a long time ago, judging by how miniature Yukimura seemed to be in those pictures. However, he didn't have long to explore because as soon as the captain dropped off his tennis bag, he whisked the child away. 

"Seiichi, who is that?" Yukimura's mother asked as they passed the kitchen. Kirihara sniffed the air wistfully and soaked in all the yummy aromas that were floating about.

"This is a friend. He'll be staying over, is that okay?" Yukimura asked.

"Of course," the other responded with a smile before returning to task before hand. Yukimura said a quick thank-you before dragging Kirihara along. The child was rather reluctant, though. For one, he really didn't like to be dragged along, and he was still quite angry over the fact that Oshitari had crushed him at ping-pong. (If it were only tennis!) For another, he was quite hungry and would've preferred to soak up more of the delicious scents that lingered around the kitchen.

When they were back in Yukimura's room, Kirihara drunk in the final details of his captain's lair. After that, he was forced to 'patiently' wait until the other finished his homework. We all know that Kirihara doesn't take well to being 'patient'.

"I'm _bored_," he muttered. Yukimura pretended not to hear him. "Really, _really_, bored," he went on, sneaking peaks at his captain in hopes that he would notice. He didn't. Now that he was thoroughly bored, Kirihara had to find entertainment, and you know that that certainly isn't going to lead to good results. The victim was a photo album.

Kirihara had to admit that even though his captain looked very comfortable wearing pink blouses, the whole idea of it was very freaky. Atobe would've fit quite well into those, but Yukimura had always been one of higher standards in his book. There were pictures of the tennis club as well, and ones from when they won the nationals. Kirihara had to admit it was quite entertaining, but nearly enough so as he soon felt himself doze off into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

When he woke up, it was daylight and his head was still buried in the album. His stomach was twisting in hunger, and Yukimura was nowhere to be found. Rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn, his eyes wandered to the clock hanging on the nearby wall. All traces of grogginess evaporated as he noted the time: ten forty-two. The next bus left in three minutes.

* * *

Kirihara knew the bus routes like he knew the back of his hand. Having overslept many times on them, he was no stranger to where he'd eventually end up and how much it'd cost to get back. As he raced to the station as fast as his tiny legs would allow him, his mind whirled with thoughts of possible excuses he could make to get on for free, because he had not a cent to his name at the moment and how to get something to eat, because he had already missed both dinner and breakfast now, and he was not happy. 

As the bus pulled up and Kirihara somehow managed to clamber on, he was relieved to see that the driver was one that he knew well. (Actually, he knew most of the drivers around here, and they knew him too as the one who never got off at the right stop) With luck, he might just be able to convince him to somehow get him to Rikkai.

"Hey, hey, you got to pay first," the driver insisted as he tapped Kirihara on the head. The boy frowned as he pulled on his black curls.

"I don't have any money," he grumbled.

"Well then, get off."

"You can ask my… cousin to pay for me the next time he gets on," Kirihara told him. The bus driver's eyes narrowed as a thoughtful spark ran across his face. Suddenly his face lit up.

"Oh, I see the resemblance," he laughed. Kirihara tried very hard not to gag. Of course he'd resemble himself!Well, I guess I could bill that kid later…"

Kirihara let out a sigh of relief as he hopped onto a seat. He made a mental note to pay the driver a little more respect next time and get off at the right stop.

* * *

The gate proved to be a more difficult dilemma. All of his ID had been left behind and he couldn't simply jump over it due to his rather… short stature. Heck, he wasn't even tall enough to press the button that would've hooked him up to someone in the office, but like that would help him at all. Instead, he took his chances, got down low, and began wriggling his way under the gate. That plan didn't go so well. 

"… Crap… I think I'm stuck…"

* * *

Jackal first had a hunch that something was wrong when he saw an abnormally large group of girls huddled around the gate. Jackal _knew_ something was wrong when he saw Kirihara being pinned down by the gate. Dropping thoughts of getting his next class on time down the drain, he dashed over to the crowd and pushed his way up to the front. 

"Ki- what are you doing here?" Jackal mentally slapped himself for almost letting the name of the child go. If the people around figured it out and made the connection, then he would be in for some serious trouble with his captain and vice-captain.

Kirihara just glared and frowned, and Jackal inferred that he was restraining himself from speaking in order to hide his identity. Looking around at the squealing girls, he tried to think of a way to get them away, but more so, how to get Kirihara from under the gate he was so very much stuck under.

"Dig him out."

When Jackal turned around to see who had made that comment, he was surprised to find Niou pointing at Kirihara with a smirk. Kirihara looked at him with an aghast expression, and the girls all cooed at how adorably cute the child was with a surprised face.

"Hey! Is he your brother?"

"No way! It must be his cousin or something!"

"Or maybe it's his kid!"

Every pair of eyes in the crowd turned to Niou, who felt rather helpless in the situation. It did prove enough distraction for Jackal to do as Niou advised and dug the little kid out from under. ("Kirihara! What have you been _eating_?" "_Nothing_! I haven't eaten since _yesterday_! Are you calling me _fat_?" "_Yes_.")

"So is it true?" one of the girls gasped.

"Is he really your kid?" another took up.

Niou had a sharp mind, and his tongue had a way with words that usually let him slip out of sticky situations such as this one. After a couple seconds of quick thinking, he answered in a way that wouldn't raise more questions had he said 'no', and wouldn't have completely caused uproar had he said 'yes'.

"Do I look stupid?"

Murmurs erupted, but quickly died down as one by one, the girls hurried along to their classes. Niou scurried over to help pull Kirihara from under the gate. It was a miracle that no adult had come to the scene, though it may have been for the better because Kirihara was looking awfully disgruntled and unhappy.

"Have you gotten fatter?" Niou asked as he took his chances and poked Kirihara in the stomach. He got a grumbled from it as a reaction.

"I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday!" Kirihara argued as he hugged his stomach. "I want food!"

"What? Did Yukimura starve you?" Jackal inquired dubiously. He new his captain could be harsh when he had too, but he knew he'd never deprive Kirihara from supper and breakfast.

"I most certainly did not." Yukimura had arrived right on cue. "And you've caused a lot of trouble coming here." This, of course, was directed at Kirihara, who could only sheepishly grin under his captain's ticked-off expression.

* * *

"Of all the places, a _closet_?" 

Knowing not what to do with the boy, because they very much doubt he could slip into class without being gawked at, the three stuck in into the nearest structure of which he couldn't b seen from the outside of, namely, the janitor's closet. Kirihara was forced to comply despite his protests.

"And this thing is _wet_!" Pushing a mop out of his head, Kirihara growled as he began counting seconds in his mind: one tennis ball, two tennis ball, three tennis ball… screw the tennis balls, Kirihara was getting impatient in here, and as we have all learned, when Kirihara gets impatient, he gets angry, and when he gets angry, he tends to forget his morals. Jumping up, he snared the doorknob and began to turn, but unfortunately for him:

"I can't believe it's locked!"


	8. The Almost Cure Only Not Quite

* * *

Chapter Eight: The Almost-Cure-Only-Not-Quite

* * *

When the team finally hauled Kirihara out of the closet, he was sleeping. When they reached the tennis courts with him in tow, he was still sleeping. When Niou and Marui decided to pour a bottle of water in his face, he finally woke up, albeit sputtering and clearly not amused by their antics. 

"What the-? You didn't have to do that!" Kirihara protested firmly. Not only was his hair soaked, the collar of his shirt was drenched as well, and his teammate's snickering faces weren't a nice accessory to the situation. On normal circumstances, Kirihara might've left them off with a glare and a scowl and maybe a taste of their own medicine if Sanada or Yukimura wasn't watching, but given his circumstances all of his options would've been labeled as 'cute' should he try to initiate them. Instead, he settled for crossing his arms, but perhaps that would've been labeled by the above as well.

"We're glad you're awake," Niou told him with sarcasm dripping. "Though we were hoping you had died."

"Niou-kun, stop that," Yagyuu told him off as he offered Kirihara a towel, which he took gratefully. At least some people were nice in this world filled with psychotic lunatics… but Kirihara counted as one of the latter, didn't he?

"So…" Kirihara began.

"So what?" Marui answered.

"So why the hell am I here?"

"Oh, swearing is a big no-no, Aka-chan," Niou taunted, wagging a finger in front of Kirihara. Two years of experience with this boy had taught Niou just exactly how to push his buttons and push them well. Immediately after the comment, Kirihara's eyes flashed red.

"Go to hell," he hissed, clearly defying what Niou had just told him to do. The older teen gave him a smirk in response. Kirihara glared at him with malice, as if wanting to lunge right at his throat and ripping out his voice box for good before logic and good judgment washed over him. There was no way he'd be able to take him down.

"Only if you're coming with me," Niou replied. Kirihara just grumbled, for there was nothing else for him to say. Luckily, Yanagi appeared in time to put him out of his embarrassment of loosing yet another verbal fling with Niou.

"Ah, Akaya," he began as he withdrew a bottle of what appeared to be blue-goo from his tennis bag. "We've come up with a cure, and it's sure to work."

No doubt everyone was skeptical. Last time the only thing the 'cure' did was toggle Kirihara's brain. What if this reversed the effects and they ended up with a thirteen-year-old screaming for his blanky? Somehow, Kirihara would no longer be considered cute in that traumatic state, and they were all unanimous on that account. However, all caution was thrown aside as Kirihara attentively accepted the toxic poison, no, _cure_, into his hands. Fear crawled up his face as Kirihara stared into the eye of death, no, hope.

"Are you sure it's… safe?" Yukimura asked, slightly unnerved by the bubbles coming out of the bottle. During his time in the hospital, Yukimura had gotten to know the equipment and the medicine fairly well, and he was sure that there wasn't anything like that on the market. Besides, with Yanagi's history in chemistry, Yukimura had high doubts on his ability in the lab. He was also beginning to wonder how it was that Yanagi managed to keep his science grade the way it was.

"I'm sure it'll work," Yanagi reassured him, but the tense expression on Yukimura's face did not waver. In fact, it deepened even more as Kirihara slowly forced himself to down the bottle, knowing that there was no turning back from whatever fate awaited him, and Kirihara didn't even believe in fate.

The team tuned in their focus to Kirihara as he dropped the empty bottle in disgust and struggled against the strong will to throw up the contents due to how badly it reacted with his taste buds. They could really care less if Kirihara threw up as long as it wasn't on them, and besides, they were more anxious for any kind of results to really care that much. At first, nothing happened. After five more seconds though… nothing happened. Finally, after ten whole seconds… well, to be frank, nothing happened.

"Are you sure it works?" Marui asked as he lent Kirihara a bottle of water to wash out the taste. Kirihara took it gratefully. Yanagi's brows were knit into a perplexed expression, truly surprised that it didn't work.

"Yes, I'm sure it works," Yanagi said, still quite confident in his creation. However, after thirty full seconds, even he was having second thoughts. "Perhaps I should've added more bleach…"

"You put bleach in there?" Sanada bellowed as he immediately checked to see if Kirihara was dying. Luckily, he was only suffering from a case of taste buds rejection. "Are you aiming to kill him?"

"No, no, the bleach was for-"

However, before he could finish that elaboration, there came a sputter from their junior ace, and before they knew what hit them, before them stood the effects from Yanagi's frightful cure. The team didn't really know what to say.

"Hey, I think I'm back to normal," Kirihara said slowly as he examined himself. His face felt solid enough, and judging by how he was no longer three feet shorted than everyone else, he probably was back to normal. No, he had convinced himself that he was normal, because if this charade went on any longer…

"Yanagi…" Yanagi wasn't very tuned into what Yukimura had just said to him as he was busy trying to contemplate the situation. The only thing his mind could conclude at the given moment was that he had indeed put in well enough bleach… maybe a little too much…

"Kirihara, how do you feel?" Yanagi asked, just like a psychologist would examine their patients.

"I feel great. Better than I have in the past few days," Kirihara said as he smiled widely, and then that was when he began noticing the change in his voice and how a lot of his teammates now seemed shorter than he was.

"Oh, I see," Yanagi said, flashing back his smile with a strained one of his own. The situation could easily be fixed once he reconstructed the cure with a lower concentration, so the ideal focus here was not to let Kirihara think that anything was wrong. Well, actually, a couple visits to the hair salon could fix it too, but the dangerous hard way was always more fun than the boring simple way.

"Damn… you look like a wad of seaweed," Niou said, pointing a finger at Kirihara's head while trying to hold back a snicker as well. It was a hard task to do, especially since Kirihara looked so ridiculous and it was embedded in his nature to laugh at other's miseries. Kirihara shot him a criticizing glare, but out of curiosity, his hand flew to his head and pulled down a lock to see what Niou was talking about. Once he got a good smack of green did he know what Niou was really talking about.

"You're being a hypocrite, Niou-kun," Yagyuu said calmly, seemingly finding nothing rather wrong with the situation. It was his opinion that in time, Kirihara would eventually color his hair an outrageous color and show up at practice one day with a gleaming smile and strutting around proclaiming how cool he was. Though this was a bit off of his predictions, it was _almost_ the same, and Yagyuu was satisfied with an 'almost'.

"Sure, sure," Niou said offhandedly, more intrigued by Kirihara's new do and freaked out expression. Kirihara had yet to say a word, probably internally struggling between screaming in rage of screaming in rage and beating someone to death. He wasn't really sure who should be at fault exactly, so that took a bit more time to process.

"Why is it _green_?" Kirihara finally decided to scream, his eyes shooting from person to person as they flinched in response. Finding no answer save pure silence, Kirihara broke down into a puddle of hysterical mutterings and not-so-silent profanities as his teammates scrambled their minds to find something to somehow comfort the frantic soul. Jackal decided to speak up:

"Kirihara, I'm sure Yanagi can fix this, or you can just go dye your hair right now," he suggested helpfully, only to be met by vicious swears and hissing. He retreated immediately. Not only could Kirihara bark loud, he knew for a fact that the boy could bite just as hard.

"Oh, before you do that, I would like to take a sample of it," Yanagi piped up as he magically pulled out scissors from his tennis bag, probably from a dissection kit he kept with him for when he needed to extract a certain organ from certain bugs for brewing his substances. (What's a juice without some crushed beetle shells?) Kirihara stared at him with a pale face as he immediately put a stop to his hissing and just concentrated on cursing the whole time.

"For what?" Yukimura said cautiously.

"A slide sample, of course," Yanagi stated as if that was the obvious answer everyone would expect. Kirihara decided to be helpful as he plucked a strand from his head and handed it to Yanagi.

"Here," he said, rather edgy. "Just don't touch my head with those scissors."

"Very well then," Yanagi sighed contently. "After all, I should begin devising another formula for-"

"No!"

And they were all agreed upon that point.


	9. Back to Normal

* * *

Chapter Nine: Back to Normal

* * *

Kirihara was more than glad to be back to his original self. After an hour of carefully observing Yanagi's newest potion to revert his hideous hair color, Kirihara finally kissed goodbye to past misfortunes and returned to the life of an average teenager struggling with the insane amount of homework. At least, as normal as a temperamental elite teen tennis played whose eyes turn red when royally ticked off could be. Still, Kirihara was overjoyed, and that's something to say.

"Now, are you sure you feel fine?"

"I'm fine."

Kirihara didn't know how many times he had repeated that overused phrase to his teammate, babysitter, and friend since they finally got out of tennis practice. He didn't mind the least though, and he could've silently repeated it to himself again and again for the rest of the day and not get bored of it because he really was absolutely completely one hundred percent fine. Kirihara enjoyed being fine very much.

"Nothing out of the ordinary?"

"I'm fine."

The two rounded the corner onto a crowded boulevard, and Kirihara's mood just managed to improve even more when he pulled out a memo from the back of his mind. On numerous accounts, he had seen Marui strolling down this place, and the name of his favorite café soon came into view in the form of a flickering neon sign.

"Well, actually," Kirihara began as he stared longingly at the sweets displayed inside the shop. He didn't blame his senpai for coming here. It was one of the few places where the things looked as delectable as they tasted. Kirihara would never have guessed they made chocolate mousses in the shape of a moose.

"What?" Jackal asked, panicked. "Do you feel feverish? Are you having hives? Is a headache coming on? Do you need cold medicine?" The fact that he said all that seriously was awfully scary to Kirihara, as well as amusingly hilarious.

"I just wanted something sweet," Kirihara said as he stepped into the shop with a jingle of the bell overhead. A second jingled told him that Jackal had followed in suit. Kirihara smirked. So his plan of freeloading off of his babysitter began. Kirihara did so love freeloading. It meant that he could order whatever he wanted in whatever quantities, and order he did, summoning up a plethora of sugary confections and a bill to match it. Jackal was appalled.

"Kirihara…" he said, involuntarily twitching as he eyed the numbers that seemed to be embossed out of the bill. It was ridiculous to say the least, but it didn't hold a candle to how Kirihara managed to stomach every last item he ordered. Jackal thought only Marui was capable of accomplishing a feat like that.

"Don't worry, you're paying," Kirihara said nonchalantly in between bites. Jackal felt no pity from the boy. Only Kirihara would be able to say something like that without remorse. Even Marui would through in a hundred or two yen to the cause.

_Life is good_, Kirihara thought as he shoved the last spoonful of his chocolate parfait.

* * *

_Life is bad._

While Kirihara was all but in bliss and swelling in pure happiness over his excessive amount of sugar, Yukimura was seated in a rock hard chair in his principal's office attempting to explain to him the cause of Kirihara's absence for the past week. While 'away at camp' seemed to work well with the boy's parents, the headmaster of the school wasn't so easily persuaded with such off-handed answers.

"I contacted his parents, and they said he was off at camp with the lot of you, but as I recall, no such trip was scheduled."

"Sir," Yukimura began, his mind scripting out the rest of the conversation, "as his captain, senpai, and friend, I can assure you nothing out of the ordinary had occurred to Kirihara."

This, of course, was a lie. Nonetheless, it would be more foolish to tell the truth. 'Yes, well, see here, sir, Kirihara was cornered by Yanagi and was then forced by the older boy to drink a vial of his Magical Chemical 4.2, which, wouldn't you know it, turned him into a squirming pain-in-the-butt toddler, and when he attempted to restore Kirihara, his experiments always fled just a little short, but at last Kirihara has turned back to normal, and due to his stature as of a couple of days ago, I'm sure you'll agree with me that he really wasn't capable of attending his daily course of education. No, sir, I'm positively sure Yanagi is not a mad-scientist who will one day overtake the world with his friend Inui, nor is he schizophrenic and in dire need of medical attention.' Not only was that a mouthful, it sounded completely far-fetched and incomprehensible. Yukimura liked his state of sanity, thank you.

"Then how do you explain his recent absences?"

"Oh, he was out training."

"For tennis?"

"Of course."

"I see."

Tennis was the golden answer to every situation.

* * *

_Life is full of idiots_.

While Yukimura won his way with the principal, Sanada was having his hands full with keeping Marui and Niou under restraint. With Jackal off chaperoning Kirihara and Yagyuu dashing back to class for a forgotten notebook, Sanada was left with the task of playing babysitter. They really had no reason to be following him. Sure, they all walked the same way for a little bit, but surely they didn't have to be tagging behind him. Even a distance of about ten feet away was good for Sanada, but _no_. They had to be walking side-by-side.

"Hey, do you think Yanagi will make more of those Magical Chemicals?" Marui asked Niou.

"He certainly seems to like doing it," Niou answered.

"Do you think he'll turn one of us into a chocolate bar?"

"Why would you want a chocolate bar as a teammate?"

"I'm just saying! I mean, if I were a chocolate bar, then every time I got hungry I could just lick myself."

"Marui, that's wrong."

"But it makes sense! And chocolate is yummy."

"A human android would be cooler."

"But he'd beat us in straight sets because he's a humanoid!"

"No, you can reprogram him during the middle of the match."

"Niou, that's wrong."

"You being a chocolate bar is more stupid."

"No it's not! Chocolate is awesome."

"Humanoid."

"Chocolate."

"Humanoid."

"Chocolate."

"Humanoid."

"Choco-"

"We will not discuss this any further." Sanada finally got to the point where he was just sick and tired of Niou and Marui's odd conversation. He liked to walk in peace where his mind could reflect on the day's events and how he could ultimately improve his tennis. Last time he checked, chocolate bars couldn't play tennis, and as far as he was concerned, Yanagi hadn't created a humanoid… yet.

"Okay," the two sighed dejectedly. Whether he imagined it or not, a few minutes later, Sanada could've sworn her got the mental vibe that Niou and Marui had continued their absurd conversation with their absurd non-existent ESP powers. He was glad when he finally was able to leave the two as he headed into the train station.

* * *

_Life is misunderstood._

Yanagi indeed felt very misunderstood with the whole incident. He wasn't trying to play the role of the antagonist; he was merely trying to advance science. Then again, a lot of the times, science is misunderstood too. While some may call Yanagi a fool today, when he successfully had the entire planet brainwashed and tending to his every whim, they would call him a genius.

So that is why, regardless of warnings, Yanagi continued to pursue his research. The future didn't scare him at all, and after much deliberation…

"I-It's done! My Magical Chemical 5.6!" But that's another story…

* * *

The End

* * *

Thanks to all those who reviewed and supported this! I'm aware the ending is kind of rushed. I wanted to get this done before school started, though. Again, thanks to all!


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